1. Nothing (good or bad) lasts forever. I first started wearing my hair in natural curls during the summer after 7th grade. At that time, the only natural hair products sold at stores like Walmart and Target were, essentially, jheri curl activator and styling gel. This meant my hair could be either intensely oily or wet. Sometimes twisting it at night with the activator made it look bouncy and beautiful. Other days the look of it mimicked the texture: like dried ramen noodles soaked in frying oil.
The good news is this: that phase of my hair journey did not last long. Soon I changed my styling technique, found different products and wore my hair natural more often. I’ve found a cocktail of products and arsenal of styles that work for me – for now. My natural hair journey tells me I’ll have to switch it up soon.
In my experience, this is the same with life. We have rough patches and we have winning streaks. The goal is to find a way through the former and enjoy the latter while they last. Robert Frost said it best: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”
2. “Natural” can be a misnomer. When it comes to hair, wearing it “natural” can require much more maintenance and present more challenges than using heat and chemicals to strangle the strands into submission. But this is much like the things in life that the world thinks “come natural” to you. A math major may understand the subject more than the average person, but only a fraction of that is natural ability – that kind of success comes from hard work and dedication.
Just as you have to cultivate your curls, if you don’t harness your “natural” talents, you waste them.
3. There’s something especially sweet about reaching a goal on your own. Raise your hand if you have ever stayed up half the night watching, rewinding and rewatching Youtube hair tutorials; if you have ever developed a knot in your neck from trying to comb and twist and twirl your hair at exactly the right angle – if you have ever plowed through hours of a series on Netflix while getting your computer’s trackpad sticky with product, then you know how rewarding it can be to wake up the next morning to the gorgeous fruits of your labor.
Heads up, I have a quote for this too: “Work hard in silence. Let your success be your noise.” Doing your hair into the wee hours of the morning, you literally have to work hard in silence. The beautiful noise of your bouncy braid-out sounds even more beautiful when your own nimble fingers made it possible.
Of course, we always have motivators and confidantes that help us reach our goals, but submitting a job application in secret or working on a big project in solitude can be that much more rewarding when the world sees the positive outcome.
4. In this moment, you are exactly where you ought to be. When my sister did a big chop after years of damaging styles, she spent months being frustrated with her choice. She wanted hair that flowed down her back, but what grew out of her head was barely enough for the cornrows necessary to attach a long weave. But that’s where she was in her hair journey – and it was exactly where she needed to be to gain confidence in her natural strands.
Whether you are at the top of your game or stuck at rock bottom, this is where you are supposed to be right now. What is in store for you tomorrow is dependent upon how you handle today. It may seem naïve to say that everything happens for a reason and our lives are part of a predestined plan, but that’s how I feel. And working on my natural hair has underscored that for me.
5. Never measure your journey by someone else’s destination. This is a concept I have come to live by. Some of us (like me) were born and raised with natural hair. Others of us had to slowly wean our hair off of chemical straighteners. Still others had to cut off damaged, chemical-addicted hair and start anew. Each of us comes to acquire beautiful curls and coils through a hairstory all our own.
The good news is this: that phase of my hair journey did not last long. Soon I changed my styling technique, found different products and wore my hair natural more often. I’ve found a cocktail of products and arsenal of styles that work for me – for now. My natural hair journey tells me I’ll have to switch it up soon.
In my experience, this is the same with life. We have rough patches and we have winning streaks. The goal is to find a way through the former and enjoy the latter while they last. Robert Frost said it best: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”
2. “Natural” can be a misnomer. When it comes to hair, wearing it “natural” can require much more maintenance and present more challenges than using heat and chemicals to strangle the strands into submission. But this is much like the things in life that the world thinks “come natural” to you. A math major may understand the subject more than the average person, but only a fraction of that is natural ability – that kind of success comes from hard work and dedication.
Just as you have to cultivate your curls, if you don’t harness your “natural” talents, you waste them.
3. There’s something especially sweet about reaching a goal on your own. Raise your hand if you have ever stayed up half the night watching, rewinding and rewatching Youtube hair tutorials; if you have ever developed a knot in your neck from trying to comb and twist and twirl your hair at exactly the right angle – if you have ever plowed through hours of a series on Netflix while getting your computer’s trackpad sticky with product, then you know how rewarding it can be to wake up the next morning to the gorgeous fruits of your labor.
Heads up, I have a quote for this too: “Work hard in silence. Let your success be your noise.” Doing your hair into the wee hours of the morning, you literally have to work hard in silence. The beautiful noise of your bouncy braid-out sounds even more beautiful when your own nimble fingers made it possible.
Of course, we always have motivators and confidantes that help us reach our goals, but submitting a job application in secret or working on a big project in solitude can be that much more rewarding when the world sees the positive outcome.
4. In this moment, you are exactly where you ought to be. When my sister did a big chop after years of damaging styles, she spent months being frustrated with her choice. She wanted hair that flowed down her back, but what grew out of her head was barely enough for the cornrows necessary to attach a long weave. But that’s where she was in her hair journey – and it was exactly where she needed to be to gain confidence in her natural strands.
Whether you are at the top of your game or stuck at rock bottom, this is where you are supposed to be right now. What is in store for you tomorrow is dependent upon how you handle today. It may seem naïve to say that everything happens for a reason and our lives are part of a predestined plan, but that’s how I feel. And working on my natural hair has underscored that for me.
5. Never measure your journey by someone else’s destination. This is a concept I have come to live by. Some of us (like me) were born and raised with natural hair. Others of us had to slowly wean our hair off of chemical straighteners. Still others had to cut off damaged, chemical-addicted hair and start anew. Each of us comes to acquire beautiful curls and coils through a hairstory all our own.
In an increasingly connected world, it is easy to compare the successes of others to your seemingly unimpressive, not-yet-achieved goals. But you have to remember: those who are quick to celebrate success on social media were probably too busy working on that success to tweet the sleepless nights and unanswered job applications.
In the same way that you should not pine over someone else’s twist-out because yours fell flat, you should never use someone else’s ends to evaluate your means.
Hold up a mirror. That reflection you see in front of you is beautiful and perfect because it is as it should be in this moment. If what you envision for yourself is not what you see in the mirror, you have the power to make it happen. If what you envision for yourself is what someone else sees when they look in the mirror, you will not have what you want or what you need until you change that.
As a Black woman, my hairstory and my history are intricately intertwined. The lessons learned from one have been echoed by the other.
What has your (natural?) hair taught you?
In the same way that you should not pine over someone else’s twist-out because yours fell flat, you should never use someone else’s ends to evaluate your means.
Hold up a mirror. That reflection you see in front of you is beautiful and perfect because it is as it should be in this moment. If what you envision for yourself is not what you see in the mirror, you have the power to make it happen. If what you envision for yourself is what someone else sees when they look in the mirror, you will not have what you want or what you need until you change that.
As a Black woman, my hairstory and my history are intricately intertwined. The lessons learned from one have been echoed by the other.
What has your (natural?) hair taught you?
My hair journey in photos
It's always encouraging, and often comical, to go back and look at the progression of my hair. From cuts to color to changes in curl pattern, the photos are a reminder that me and my hair are exactly where we need to be right now.
Hopefully sharing my hairstory will encourage you to share yours, too.
Hopefully sharing my hairstory will encourage you to share yours, too.