Last week's post was about growing into the people we've always wanted to be. No matter what goals you have there are certain things adults do in their every day lives that truly warrant their use of the phrase "I'm an adult" -- even on a sporadic basis.
- Read things before you sign them. I’m not talking about electronically accepting Terms and Conditions that no one will ever read. I’m talking about contracts with your actual signature on them. Whether it’s for a storage unit over the summer or a lease for the next two years, you need to read things before you sign them. Not reading before signing seems to be what got this year's Miss Delaware stripped of her crown. Regardless of the impending trial's outcome, she needs to recognize her responsibility in the situation. Saying you didn’t know the rule after you break it means nothing if you’ve signed a contract stating that you understand that and all the other rules, stipulations, and potential consequences. Breach of contract and law breaking are similar in that way. Your signature is your bond when you write it on a dotted line. Don’t use it hastily.
- Stop expecting people to read your mind. This is the hardest one in my opinion. As a romantically inclined person, I am a firm believer in the idea “it’s the thought that counts.” I want the people I love to show me they care by doing The Little Things – and it feels like telling them what I want them to do would defeat the purpose. While that is all well and good, I also don’t have the right to be mad if someone doesn’t pick up on the telepathic signs I send. Adults ask for what they want and tell people how they feel -- in both their professional and personal lives.
- Understand that your parents (and all other adults) are still learning, too. Now that you are an adult, you should know that reaching some age-based milestone does not unlock the door to some secret room with all the answers. Just as you are trying to figure out life, so are older adults. While they have experienced life at your age, it was their life at that age, not yours. Their advice on how to find a job might not automatically work for you in this job market with the resources you have. At the same time, some of the advice they give you could be what they wish someone had said to them when they were your age. Maybe they tell you to work on not being so headstrong because it’s something they still struggle with. Everyone has a unique journey but we can all use a little help.
- Set realistic goals. This pertains to anything from weight loss to employment to increasing your online presence. Goals you set should take work that can be done in the allotted time. Don’t give yourself more than enough time to get it done – that defeats the purpose of a goal. Challenge yourself without setting yourself up for failure. Try setting a deadline for the goal that requires a bit of work or attention every day. It will help you stay focused and constantly remind you why you set the goal in the first place. And when you’ve finally accomplished it, you can look back at a successful journey instead of a stressful race to the finish.
- Discover the adult meaning of “no regrets.” Often young people (i.e. in their twenties and younger) will use this term to justify making what others might deem a bad decision. It has come to be seen as a preamble to recklessness. When older people use it while reflecting on their life, they get a look in their eye that conveys true contentment – a life well lived. When you grow up, you realize that having no regrets means that you took risks that offered great reward, even if it ended badly. You loved and lost, but at least you loved. It’s not about drinking too much and losing a whole weekend of your life to a blackout. It’s about a series of choices that helped you avoid ever saying “what if,” even if the major reward was never won. For non-adults, potential penalty outweighs potential profit. For adults, “no regrets” means the outcome of the risk had opposite odds.
Have any other mental milestones in mind? Add them in the comments below!